Unapologetically, I can proudly say I have very few friends and by the time you are done reading this you will realize that we are in more or less the same boat. With that info I hope you spend your time and resources in 2015 wisely and maybe just maybe some of your 2015 resolutions will come to pass.
When I was below 3, he/she who would work with me towards my agenda would be my friend. That simply means if I did not want to eat, my friend would not force food down my throat. If I wanted to play with water, my friend would let me and not use a cane instead.
When I got to school going age, I learnt the hard way that those who I termed as friends from birth to 3, though very few, were not my true friends. An ideal friend would always have my back and best interests at heart. I later redefined friendship during that period to; regardless of the means, they get the job done. So he/she who made sure I was fed, warm, out of harm and would not hesitate to pinch me when I misbehaved was a friend in deed.
In primary school, my friend was he who would share his snacks, whisper the right answer if I happened to be cornered by the teacher and in case I forgot to do my homework, they would offer a helping hand (actually pass their book so that I can copy). When I got to secondary school it was all about having friends for protection and partners in crime. As a mono I would befriend form fours, not because they added value in my life, but the affiliation made me untouchable. It all worked well. In university the same applied but with a little spice since an ideal friend was expected to take a bullet for me.
In the work life, I again learnt the hard way that you are termed as a friend if you can do a favor or be resourceful on a “need” basis. If you come through for someone in their time of need mpesa-wise you are a friend. If you were no able to do so for one reason or another you were never a friend in the first place. Take a few minutes to reflect back on how many friends you made as you grew up to say university who to date you can still count as friends.
Now go through the saved contacts on your phone. How many of those “friends” keep tabs often? How many only call you when they need something? I personally have over 400 numbers saved. If I say even 25 of those we talk frequently and not when something is needed I would be lying. A majority of the Christmas forwards came from people who are not even saved on my phone. The new disease in town is the friendship card. This disease plays out by expecting you to do something because “you are friends”. Ever heard of those people who ask for discounts from your business because you are friends? I can go on and on, but this year I have decided that those who will look for me when they only need their backs scratched will be disappointed. I was about to post this article when I got home on Thursday evening just in time to watch Maurice on JKL which made me think, if he had true friends, if the friendship card disease wouldn’t have come into play, maybe just maybe the fate would be different. You can watch the link below. Do not be that person who misuses that great feeling friendship brings for your own selfish interests. Do not be the person who lets others walk all over them in name of friendship starting this 2015. Call a spade a spade not rose color it friendship.